THE INTERNATIONAL BIRDIE SONG

Anything But The Third Policeman - Part One

In 2011 Ergo Phizmiz created an electronic opera on Flann O'Brien's The Third Policeman, which toured the UK and into Rotterdam. For licensing reasons we are unable to present audio or video of the opera. This is the first in a series of "Anything But The Third Policeman" short films, featuring footage from the tour, backstage footage, footage of artists from the tour performing their own music, and little things that happened along the way. Featuring Ergo Phizmiz, Martha Moopette, Monkton Wylde, Oblivian Substanshall, Vulnavia Vanity, and Elvis Herod.

Vulnavia Vanity & Ergo Phizmiz "BUFFETINFANTIL" - the night Vulnavia & Ergo locked themselves away with a lot of Vodka....

Performed on voice, electric guitar, bass guitar, organ, harmonium, mandolin, wheel, turntable, drums, digital-delay, tape recorder, in an evening of extreme decadence and a sorry, slightly painful morning. 

We like to call this music Decadence'n'Roll (thanks Christopher Lee).









With deepest apologies to everyone Vulnavia phoned during the recording sessions. And to Benny Bjorn.

And big thanks to Lady SD.


Sponsored (unofficially) by Smirnoff Vodka.


Dedicated to Kerry Katona & Chuck Berry.


Recorded 27th-28th October 2011 at Grindia, Bridport.

"Honey honey, Lich Me Baby, aha!"

More Vulnavia here, and on Facebook here. 


More Ergo here.

The Third Policeman - First shows and Times review

Well folks! We're back. "The Third Policeman" has premiered, much (very tired and rather intense) fun was had by all.

Audience so far have loved it and detested it, as indicated in the image above. Which is, of course, just the way we like it....

Today's issue of The Times featured a rather splendid review of the show, below...

This link will take you to a photo gallery of images taken by Claire Shovelton (the above image is taken from Claire's gallery).

The lovely Tom Ravenscroft has also been drumming up support for the show, via his 6Music show where he featured a ten minute mix of songs and music from The Third Policeman, and in his New Statesman column, where he writes:

"You should probably expect to be at first a little startled - the music will be wildly unpredictable as I suspect will be his actions. I would be almost concerned if you had witnessed anything like it before. He is a burst of imagination, colour and noise, which has in the past left me sitting jaw collapsed on the floor, speechless as to how someone can so beautifully map out such madness."



Read the full article here.

And finally, today's blog would not be complete without this image of the Gang of Rogues a few minutes before going our separate ways.

Many thanks to Caroline & Izzy, Bill, Anna, Nell and all the other lovelies of Tete-a-Tete...

And let's not forget thanks to the Third Policeman team Erik Bumbledonk, Vulnavia Vanity, Oblivian Substanshall, Martha Moopette, Mike Wade, Bryan Innes Parker, Lucinda Guy, Talulah Lotus & Autumn Poppy. See you for more shows from October to December......

The Third Policeman Rehearsals Day 6 - Fun With Shadows and Shapes

The Third Policeman Rehearsals Day 5 - Guest Post by Vulnavia Vanity

Reporting from the underneath of Grindia Studios, Bridport, is artist, actor, composer and raconteur Vulnavia Vanity, who plays the Protagonist in Ergo Phizmiz's "The Third Policeman".

Hello cheekies, it's Vulnavia here.

Is it about a bicycle?

  Of course it is. Why else would you be here were it not for the magnetic pull of the slender frame, the soft ring of the bell, the firm yet supple grip of the handlebars beneath your fingers, the hypnotic spin of the wheels?

Yes. The bicycle is truly a masterpiece crafted by the human hand, second only perhaps to the jam sandwich or the typewriter.
All this said, personally I have an irrational fear of riding a bicycle.

This stems from a traumatic experience in France when I was brave enough to mount a bicycle, only to discover that bicycle brakes are pretty damn strong, and when my little journey around the garden ceased to a halt, I fell onto the frame, crotch first.

My testicles bled.

It would give me copius amounts of pleasure to sail along the streets on a beautiful, vintage model with a little basket on the back to pick up bread from he boulangerie.

But I'm afraid this will never happen.

But at least The Third Policeman helps me live out my fantasies.

The rehearsal process has been very interesting thus far and has gone surprisingly smoothly, although we still have a terribly long way to go in four days. 

This is a role unlike I have ever played before, in the sense that a great percentage of the show I am interacting with other characters who are just recorded voices.

I've been exploring my characterzation quite extensively over the last week or so and have eventually discovered the Protagonist's physicality. In a style almost reminiscent of Bouffon Clown, the Protagonist has his deformity (the wooden leg) and this completely compromises how he moves, his stance and also his attitude. This yonder photograph captures it rather well:

To finish, we have also been playing with shadow behind the projection and have discovered taken some quite lovely images. Look at Grandma Vulnavia for example:

And Grampa:

Ergo & Oblivian dance:

And we say a tender hello to a newly dead friend.

Nanu-Nanu & all that, lovelies ♥

And here is Vulnavia Vanity in his prime, with his rather splendid single "Worse Things Happen at Sea"....

And resplendent in Ergo Phizmiz & Martha Moopette's "Barbette" from "Fulcanelli's Shoes"...

The Third Policeman Rehearsals Day 4

The Third Policeman rehearsals, Day 3, and Sounds From The Underground Chamber Podcast 2

The second instalment of the Sounds From the Underground Chamber podcast features Ergo, Erik & Vulnavia rehearsing the Finnucane section of The Third Policeman.

Autumn Poppy and Bubbles

Erik in flight

The coronation

Ergo throwing DeSelby shapes

I'm a robber with a knife

Oblivian & Ergo chat to Autumn, whilst Erik appears to piss up the wall

MacCruiskeen & MacCruiskeen

Sergeant MacCruiskeen throwing Freddie Mercury poses

Oblivian Substanshall arrives

Arguing over a manuscript

Talulah Lotus

Smiling Houmous

Terrified Vulnavia

The Third Policeman Rehearsals, Day Two, and first "Sounds From the Underground Chamber" podcast

Second day of rehearsals done and dusted, real progress made today....

We are delighted to introduce the first of a new podcast series "Sounds From the Underground Chamber", documenting the rehearsal process of The Third Policeman.

Erik Bumbledonk dies in a corner



Ergo & Erik look at a chair



Martha Moopette post-goosing



Erik stabs Vulnavia in the head with a ladder



Ergo demonstrates the art of throwing empty cans into a bin

Mr Phizmiz's pursed lipped coquettish look, just before a light fell on his head

Vulnavia in foxy mode

Building a puppet theatre and back projecting

Martha Moopette getting jiggy with the iron on glue

Vulnavia regarding a giant pair of underpants

Shadow puppets

Vulnavia hasn't managed to remove the ladder from his head

The Third Policeman Rehearsals Begin!

Oh yes. Today rehearsals for Ergo Phizmiz's electronic neur-opera vaudeville machine "The Third Policeman" began...

Erik Bumbledonk with beautiful flat cap / pony-tail combo

Bumbledonk looking pensive by a glove that has previously caused him pain

Ergo gesticulates and nobody looks

Bumbledonk recounts the plan of Divney

Ergo holds a bar for no reason

Ergo wears Mathers' fez and holds little tiny Mathers puppet

A pensive moment with Vulnavia Vanity and Erik Bumbledonk

Erik Bumbledonk sings and holds his penis whilst Vulnavia looks on

De Selby's nose

Ergo with the look of a madman

Vulnavia's latex fetish

And for an update on the splendid masks Martha Moopette & Mike Wade have been working on for the opera, you could do worse than head over to Moop's blog...

Tomorrow we construct the set, and await the imminent arrival of Oblivian Substanshall...

Howtosayto

HOWTOSAYTO Saturday 12th March 2011 at Bridport Arts Centre.

Curated by Ergo Phizmiz & Martha Moopette

Ergo Phizmiz "The Mourning Show" starring Erik Bumbledonk as Chris Evans

Live music from:
Vulnavia Vanity
Eleanor Davis
Oblivian Substanshall
Robert Lee & Friends
Erik Bumbledonk
Amie Willingale
Ergo Phizmiz

DJ Courtley Love spins a bunch of badgoodbeauties

Films from
Martha Moopette
Phil Lane
Erik Bumbledonk
Maria Deegan
Carl Rosendahl
Alexander Jones